Holy Hospitality

Creating a culture that loves like Jesus

By Johnny Moore

My mom was, even at 91 years old when she passed, a classy lady. She knew how to make everyone feel at home. When folks came to our house, they lacked for nothing. She waited on everyone, cooked for everyone, loved on everyone and was genuinely glad they were there. My dad, who passed away at 87 years of age, kept the conversation going around the table. I always loved hearing him laugh. He would keep everybody laughing and feeling right at home.

Most of my friends called my parents “Mom and Dad” because that’s how they treated them. We never locked our doors, and my friends would come and go like they were at their own house. I’ve watched my parents practice hospitality all of my life. They loved people, cared for them, ministered to them, prayed for them, laughed with them, cried with them, held them in their arms, and let Jesus strengthen them. I have witnessed my parents model in our home what should be modeled in the church.

Some may think this subject is light and shallow, and even unimportant, but hospitality is a reflection of a church’s spiritual life. If the spiritual life of a church is vibrant, it will show up in how the church treats people—those within and those without.

We train people how to preach, how to teach, how to lead, how to pray and so on, but we rarely train our people how to be hospitable. I have discovered in pastoring the same church for over 30 years that this topic could be the difference maker in your life and your church.

Believe it or not, hospitality is a Bible word. Strong’s Lexicon defines the Greek form of the word (philonexia), as “to entertain strangers; to treat like a friend; to act fond; to be friendly.” There are numerous places in the Word of God where this concept is implied, encouraged and expected, but there are five places where the word is specifically used:

“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13).

“Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Peter 4:9)

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers” (Hebrews 13:2)

“An overseer … must be … hospitable” (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8).

You question the importance of hospitality? Just look where the word is found—alongside spiritual practices such as love, prayer, diligence, discipline and leadership. There is no question about how important prayer and leadership are; however, hospitality is just as important in the life of a Christian and the life of a church.

Why are churches not hospitable? If you ask most church members if their church is friendly and hospitable, they will tell you quickly, “Yes, by all means, we are the friendliest church in town!” I have discovered that most churches are hospitable to those they know and see every week. But, to find out if your church is friendly, you must ask the first-time guests who attend your church, not the regular attenders.

I have discovered four reasons most churches are not hospitable:

They are ingrown. We walk into church, hug those we know, hang out with those we like, say hello to those we’ve already seen and hide from those we don’t know. We act like the church is our little club. We think everything should be done the way we like it. We’re ingrown. We think, This is my seat. This is my parking spot. Some people mark their spot by leaving their Bible in their seat all week, or their blanket, as if to say, “No trespassing!” We look at people we don’t know as if to say, “Who is that?” or “What are they doing here?”

They are more interested in getting a blessing than they are in being a blessing. In many churches, members are focused on receiving for themselves. Truthfully, everybody comes to God because we are in need. But there comes a time in our spiritual growth and development that we should realize we need to be a blessing, rather than always coming to church to get one. The reality is, if you will be a blessing, God will see to it that you always receive one. We must choose to be a blessing, be hospitable, show that we care about others, reach out to others and give of ourselves to others. God will always take care of us!

They see ministry as a job to do rather than a service to provide. Many people are involved in ministry at our church on Sunday mornings, and it’s exciting to see. But, if we’re not careful, we can get so focused on “doing our ministry” that it becomes a job. We can easily forget that we are in ministry to provide a service, not just do a job. When we’re “just doing a job,” we can become critical, judgmental, frustrated, cantankerous and even bitter. There is nothing hospitable about any of this. Our job is people. There is no ministry without people. We are here to serve people, and serving people is what hospitality is all about.

They are burdened down with their own problems. Too many times, churches cease to be hospitable because everybody becomes so focused on their own problems that they are in no shape to care for other people. They can’t smile. They can’t be friendly. They can’t pray for others. All they see are their own situations and problems. We must learn to trust God to minister to us and meet our needs while we are caring for and being hospitable to others. When we grow to a place where we can push our own needs to the side in order to love, to care for and minister to others, it is then that true hospitality can begin to flow from our lives. This is the true test of spiritual maturity.

Jesus was our greatest example. He loved and cared for people everywhere He went. I want our church to be known as the friendliest, most loving and caring church in this whole region! I want our church to be a church that truly loves people! All people. Good people. Bad people. Tall people. Short people. Skinny people. Blessed people. Red people. Yellow people. Black people. White people. All people!

How can we do this? How can our church show true hospitality to the people that come to us—the good people, the healthy people and the people who are in distress, in debt and discontented? Here are three things that have worked for us:

See every Sunday as a special day. Hospitality starts by seeing beyond yourself. Every pastor should wake up every Sunday expecting it to be a big day! Whatever you do to connect with people on big days you should do every Sunday. Here’s my point: If you do this on Easter, then why don’t you do it every Sunday? The Sunday after Easter is just as important to God as Easter. The reason most churches don’t do this is that it takes work. It takes planning. It takes preparation. But actions like these spell “hospitality” to those who pull in your parking lot and walk in your front door. It says, “We were expecting you to come, and we are glad you are here!”

Treat every person as a special person. People are God’s most prized possession. People are who Jesus died for. The only thing you can take with you to heaven is people. If people matter to God, they should matter to us. Therefore, every person who comes to your church is special. As pastors, we must understand that God is holding us accountable for how we treat those He sends us. If we take care of the guests who come, they will keep coming. If we do not take care of them, the flow of new people will stop.

Most people are quick to respond to those they know and those who can do something for them. But what about those you don’t know? What about those who can’t do anything for you? What about the drug addict, the couple that lives together with three kids and are not married, the gay or lesbian couple? How do we treat these people? To be hospitable means that we treat all of them like Jesus would treat them. We love them, we embrace them, we value them and we make them feel special.

I don’t care how good a preacher you are; without people, you have no one to preach to! You had better fall in love with people and begin to see them all as special! But, until you can do that from your heart, just fake it and do it, because Jesus said to. I have learned that if I don’t treat all people special, then neither will my congregation. If I do it, so will they.

Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16-17). Hospitable people are people who love the “whoever”s, and hospitable churches are churches that also love the “whoever”s.

How would we respond if Jesus came knocking on our door wanting something to eat? We would treat Him as special! We must treat every person who comes through our doors as if they were Jesus. Jesus said, “When you fed them, you fed Me.” He said, “When you helped them, when you loved them, it was really Me you helped and loved!” (see Matthew 25:35-40). This is biblical hospitality.

Use every situation as an opportunity to glorify God. Every situation people face is unique and should be handled by compassionate people who have been trained to deal with special situations. When a church is prepared to deal with unique situations, be it medical emergencies, security issues, safety issues or any other situation that may arise, true hospitality is displayed. Most God-given opportunities don’t come wrapped in foil paper and a red bow. Most of them arrive wrapped in difficulty, trouble, interruptions and even sometimes pain.

Every church will face difficult situations at some point. Being hospitable is about glorifying God in all those situations. It is our responsibility as pastors to train people and have them in place, ready to handle situations like these and others. The apostle Paul exhorts us by saying, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17). In his letter to the church at Ephesus, he says, “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free” (Ephesians 6:7-8).

Again, our greatest example, Jesus Himself, was hospitable to each of us. He was the Good Samaritan who found us half-dead lying by the side of the road. He came to us, brought healing to our lives and promised to care for us. This story is the most relevant story in the Bible that shows hospitality in action.

If we are going to be a church where biblical hospitality flows naturally, we must first live it ourselves. Second, we must build this into the DNA of our congregation. We do that when we intentionally preach it, teach it and train our people to do it.

Here are a few simple steps we have used that you could implement to make hospitality a priority:

Develop systems to track first-, second-, and third-time guests. When people come to your church for the first time, they are obviously searching for something. Sadly, many churches are not prepared for first-time guests. Therefore, their follow-up is weak, and most of the time, the first timers do not return. This is why systems are so important.

For a guest to return the second time, a connection has to be made the first time they come. We have a connection card with a QR code that we include in the bulletin, display on the screen and mention from the pulpit. However, the most important player in the equation is the greeter. If the greeters are paying attention, they can facilitate getting the connection card filled out better than anyone, because it is a person-to-person contact. After service, we gather the connection cards, enter the data and send them a personal text message when service is over, thanking them for coming to church that day.

On Mondays, our secretaries process the cards and send our first-time guests a personal email from me. These things are almost a guarantee that our first-time guests will return the second time. When they return the second time, they receive a handwritten note from me, thanking them for coming, and with the note we include a coupon for a free beverage from our HomeBrood Cafe.

Create assimilation teams to integrate people into the church. The days of new people just walking into your church and automatically getting involved are gone. Like it or not, if you leave people to themselves, they will leave. We teach our congregation that everyone is a greeter and everyone is an usher.

It doesn’t matter what area of ministry people serve in; everyone is always on the lookout for guests. Several of our Sunday teams also serve as assimilation teams, including our valets, greeters, ushers, altar team and our children’s registration team. These are the front-line teams, and they are always working to make contact with those coming in the parking lot, the front door, the sanctuary doors and the children’s drop-off area. Don’t ever leave people standing alone in the foyer trying to figure out where to go. If you do, chances are high that they won’t return.

Continue recruiting, enlisting and training team members. New people want to feel like they are needed. The sooner we can get people connected to a ministry team, the more likely they are to stay. Our hospitality teams are perfect places for new people to get involved rather quickly. After people have attended for a few weeks, we reach out to them to get them connected to a team. Once they are connected to a team and feel that our church is a place where they belong, they will immediately and officially join the church.

Every team leader understands the importance of building their team, so they have an eye for recruitment. Not all people will stay on the same team forever. They might want to eventually get involved in another area of ministry, so every leader must always be reaching for and training new people. John Maxwell calls it “The Law of the Bench.” Every ministry needs to have a strong bench so that if someone wants to move into another area of ministry, there is always someone trained and standing in the wings ready to step into their place.

Regularly evaluate, expand and improve the process. No system is perfect. There are always changes that must be made along the way. However, you have to start somewhere. The purpose of the system is to achieve the desired results. The system is not sacred. The results are. If the system you have in place is not producing the desired results, you have to keep adjusting it until it does—or else get a new system.

It’s like the headlights in your car. The purpose of the lights is not just to burn. The purpose of the lights is to provide light on the road in front of you to give direction for the journey, and to help you get to where you’re going. Sometimes, they have to be adjusted. Our systems are the same way. You have to look at each of them, and if they are not producing the results that you want, you have to adjust until they produce. If they still don’t produce, then you might have to replace them. You don’t work for the system. The system has to work for you.

Our churches should be the most friendly and welcoming places in town. It should be like pulling into the parking lot at Disney World. There should be people smiling, waving, giving direction and providing service everywhere you turn. Our churches must be a place where people want to come. When we create an exciting, warm and hospitable environment, people will start lining up to get in.

—

Johnny Moore is the pastor of Family Worship Center in Cairo, Georgia. After 30 years of pouring his life into the people of Cairo, Grady County and the surrounding areas, Pastor Johnny has led a thriving and growing congregation in what many would consider an unlikely place. His new book is The Shift: Creating an Environment for Transformation, from which this article was adapted.