You First

Five habits of others-focused leaders

By Dana Gentry

After nearly two decades in leadership—building businesses, coaching others, leading through growth and challenges—I’ve learned this: great leadership doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not the automatic result of working hard, earning a title or reading the right books. The kind of leadership that truly transforms lives is the product of daily, deliberate, others-focused intentionality.

I used to think leadership was mostly about strategy—casting vision, making plans, driving results. Those things matter, but they’re not what people remember. They don’t build trust or multiply impact. What people remember is how you made them feel. Whether you showed up. Whether you saw them. Whether you served them. And those things only happen when you lead on purpose.

Intentionality isn’t just a leadership buzzword to me—it’s become a way of life. Once I started living and leading with intention, everything shifted. I became more rooted in my faith, more focused in my work and more aware of the people around me—not as tasks to manage, but as lives to serve.

It’s tempting to believe success is about what you accomplish. But the longer I lead, the more convinced I am that true success is about how you empower others, how faithfully you serve and how consistently you show up with a mindset that says, “This isn’t about me.”

Leadership done well isn’t about elevating yourself. It’s about creating space for others to rise. And that doesn’t happen by chance—it happens through intentional action. Not perfection. Not performance. Just a steady commitment to showing up, to building habits that reflect your values—like generosity, encouragement and gratitude.

The most transformative leadership moments in my life haven’t come from bold moves or big wins. They’ve come from the quiet choice to think of someone else. A handwritten note. A thoughtful question. A shift in spotlight. Those small choices leave a lasting mark.

So, wherever you lead—at work, in ministry, at home—I want to encourage you: don’t wait for the perfect moment. Step into intentional leadership today. Because here’s what I believe with all my heart: when you lead with others in mind, everything changes.

I want to impart to you five core principles of leading with an others-first mindset. They aren’t theories—they’re time-tested, heart-proven truths that have shaped my journey. And I believe they’ll shape yours too.

PRINCIPLE #1: MAKE GENEROSITY A LIFESTYLE

If I could be remembered for one thing, I’d want it to be this: She was the most generous person I knew. Not the most successful or strategic—the most generous.

Generosity, to me, isn’t an add-on to leadership. It’s a mindset. A daily decision. A lifestyle. The most impactful leaders I’ve met aren’t necessarily the richest or the most influential—they’re the ones who live to give. They give their time, their energy, their encouragement, their resources—not to get something in return, but because it’s who they are.

I want to be the kind of person who surprises people with generosity. Not for recognition, but to remind people they’re seen and valued. I keep a running list in my phone titled “Gift Ideas.” Anytime someone mentions something they love or need, I jot it down. Later, I might send them a book, a small gift or a handwritten note. It’s not about the item—it’s about intention.

And generosity isn’t just about money. It includes your time, your talents and your treasures. One of my favorite books, Chase the Lion by Mark Batterson, explains it this way—and it stuck with me. You may not feel like you have much to give, but everyone has something in all three categories. The question is: will you give it?

When it comes to money, I like to think in terms of planned giving and surprise giving. I plan my tithe and giving, but I also stay open to spontaneous generosity—those nudges to bless someone in the moment. Whether it’s a gift, a meal or meeting a financial need, giving feels good—really good. One of my favorite quotes says it best: “Do your giving while you’re living so you know where it’s going.”

Here’s the truth: if you think you have nothing to give, take a look at what you’re spending. Chances are, you do—you’re just wearing it, driving it or eating it. It’s not about how much you have, but how open your heart is.

Generosity changes people—but more than that, it changes you. When you make generosity a habit, a priority, a lifestyle, it starts to shape everything: your leadership, your relationships, your legacy.

Don’t wait. Don’t overthink it. Just start giving—on purpose, with joy and with others in mind.

PRINCIPLE #2: EQUIP AND EMPOWER OTHERS

The best leaders I know aren’t defined by their knowledge, platform or charisma. They’re defined by how intentionally they raise others up. They equip, they empower—and then they step out of the spotlight so others can shine.

For a long time, I thought leadership meant being the one who showed up, spoke up and held everything together. But real leadership is about what you hand off, not what you hold onto. If I want to build something that lasts beyond me, I need to be OK with not being the one at the center.

Empowering others doesn’t require a fancy title—it just takes belief and intentional action. When you take time to pour into someone, share what you’ve learned or give them the opportunity to lead, you’re sowing seeds that will bear fruit far beyond what you can see.

One of the most powerful tools in your leadership toolkit? Asking good questions. My brother’s story is a great example. After hearing John Maxwell teach seven intentional lunch questions, he reached out to the CEO of Lowe’s—and to his surprise, he got a lunch meeting. That one conversation changed his life. Not because he had the answers, but because he asked the right questions.

Questions open doors. They spark ideas, reveal potential and help people see themselves in a new light. I’ve seen this in my husband and in my mentor Dianna Kokoszka. They never show up to a meeting without thoughtful questions prepared—questions that move conversations from surface-level to soul-level. That’s what real empowerment looks like.

Jesus modeled this perfectly. He asked over 300 questions in the Gospels—not to get information, but to inspire transformation. Great leaders don’t just lead with answers—they lead by helping others discover their own.

And sometimes, empowering others means stepping back altogether. Craig Groeschel calls it being “strategically absent.” It’s not always easy. I’ve made the mistake of jumping in when I should have stepped aside. But I’ve learned that long-term impact often requires short-term discomfort.

That’s why I love using tangible leadership tools like a baton (succession), a slinky (multiplying leaders) or a shoe brush (servant leadership). They remind me that leadership isn’t about status—it’s about stewardship. It’s about passing it on.

Equipping and empowering others doesn’t happen by default. It happens by design—through mentoring, modeling and making room. So, ask yourself: Who needs to be empowered today? Who could I raise up this week?

Because when we equip and empower others well, we don’t just lead—we multiply.

PRINCIPLE #3: CONTINUALLY ENCOURAGE AND RECOGNIZE OTHERS

Leadership isn’t just about hitting goals—it’s about lifting people as we go. If we want to lead with intention, we can’t overlook the people beside us. Encouragement may seem small, but it’s one of the most powerful leadership tools we have. And best of all? It’s free.

I’ll never forget hearing my mentor John Maxwell share his “BIG BUCKET LIST.” He was in his late 70s, dreaming big—not for himself, but for others. He talked about influencing millions, writing over a hundred books and seeing people come to Christ in massive numbers. It wasn’t about legacy in the sense of accolades—it was about pouring into others so they could carry the vision forward. Legacy isn’t what we achieve. It’s who we build.

That’s where encouragement comes in. One of my favorite tools for building a culture of encouragement is a children’s book called Have You Filled a Bucket Today? It’s a simple concept, but profound: every person carries an invisible bucket that holds their sense of value and joy. Every interaction you have either fills that bucket—or dips from it. A kind word, a smile, a small gesture—these can fill a person’s bucket and shift the atmosphere around you.

I’ve read this book to adults in business settings, and every time, it resonates. Because no one ever outgrows the need to feel seen, valued and appreciated. And yet, we often overlook the power of intentional encouragement in leadership. Being a great leader means being a consistent bucket-filler. Not just for the big wins—but for the small efforts. Not just in public—but in private. A note. A thank you. An unexpected compliment. A kind word when it’s least expected.

These aren’t fluff tactics. They’re culture-shaping habits that build trust, inspire loyalty and multiply momentum. You may need to be intentional about it at first—encouragement might not feel natural in the middle of your hustle. But if you make it a priority, it becomes part of who you are. One simple question helps me stay focused: “Did I fill a bucket today?”

Real encouragement is never performative. It’s deeply personal. It says, “I see you. You matter. You’re making a difference.” And when we lead that way—consistently, intentionally—we create something that lasts far beyond us.

Don’t wait for milestones to encourage someone. Don’t assume they already know. Speak life now. Recognize progress. Celebrate presence. Because when you refresh others, you’ll find yourself refreshed, too.

PRINCIPLE #4: STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD

Leadership isn’t about fitting in—it’s about showing up differently. Intentional leaders don’t just make noise; they make impact. They stand out not for attention, but for transformation.

For years, I kept a sticker on the back of my phone—a saltshaker and a light bulb. It was a simple reminder of Matthew 5:13-14: “You are the salt of the earth. ... You are the light of the world.” Salt enhances. Light reveals. Both change their environment—and so should we. It’s easy to go through the motions. But leaders are called to season the world and shine into dark places. To bring clarity, courage and conviction where it’s lacking.

That doesn’t mean being loud or flashy. It means being faithful. Showing up with integrity, presence and purpose so that others feel a little more hope, a little more possibility, simply because you’re there.

I think of Damon West, whose life was radically transformed by a single idea: be a coffee bean. In the boiling pot of prison, he chose not to be hardened or broken—but to change the water around him. He transformed—and empowered others to do the same. His story reminds me: standing out isn’t about ego. It’s about choosing to influence rather than conform.

And I’ll never forget the story of the yellow tag. During World War II, a triage nurse went against protocol to change a soldier’s red tag—marked hopeless—to yellow. She believed in someone no one else did. And her act of courage saved his life. That’s what leadership can look like: quiet boldness. Seeing people differently. Believing in those others overlook.

We have that same opportunity every day. To lift the unseen. To speak life into those labeled “too far gone.” To be the kind of leader who doesn’t just reflect culture—but reshapes it.

If we want to lead with an others-first mindset, we can’t afford to blend in. Not because we’re chasing the spotlight, but because we’re called to make a difference. Add flavor where things feel dull. Bring light where others fade. Step in, speak up and lead like it matters—because it does. Leadership that stands out may cost you comfort, but it creates legacy. Be bold enough to be different. Be intentional enough to make it count.

PRINCIPLE #5: ALWAYS REMAIN GRATEFUL

Gratitude is one of the most underestimated leadership tools we have. It doesn’t require a title, and it doesn’t cost a thing—but it has the power to ground us, lift others and transform moments. Practicing gratitude reminds us where we’ve come from and honors the people who’ve helped us along the way.

In 2023, I was riding a wave of momentum—personally and professionally. But everything changed when my dad passed away unexpectedly that July. If you’ve experienced deep loss, you know—it shakes everything. Gratitude felt far away in that season.

A few months later, I was invited to Gary Keller’s private ranch in Austin, Texas, as a top operator in our company. It was an incredible experience—learning, connecting, even riding ATVs across the property. One evening at sunset, we spotted a herd of oryx running across the field. I snapped a photo and later decided to frame it and send it to Gary with a handwritten thank-you note. A small, intentional gesture—no agenda, just gratitude.

I didn’t expect what came next. On Thanksgiving Day—my first without my dad, and my 40th birthday—I received an email from Gary. He thanked me for the gift, told me my photo was framed at the ranch and ended with this: “We have so much stress in our lives right now, yet we have so much to be thankful for. I choose to be thankful and grateful, and I know you do, too.”

That message met me right where I was. It reminded me that gratitude can heal. One small note, one photo, one kind word—they matter more than we realize. Gratitude creates ripples that return at just the right time.

As leaders, we carry gratitude not just in our words, but in our posture. It’s how we see the world. It’s how we stay anchored when things feel heavy. And it’s how we let people know they matter—even in seasons of grief or stress.

So today, who are you grateful for? And what would it look like to show it? Write the note. Send the message. Speak the encouragement. Because gratitude isn’t just a feeling—it’s a decision. And when it’s practiced intentionally, it restores, connects and transforms.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

At the end of the day, intentional leadership isn’t about doing everything perfectly—it’s about doing the right things consistently, with others in mind. It’s about equipping and empowering those around you, choosing to show up with gratitude and encouragement and being bold enough to stand out when it matters most. These five principles aren’t just strategies—they’re a mindset, a posture, and a daily decision to lead in a way that lifts others. When you lead like that, you don’t just build a team or hit goals—you build trust, legacy and lasting impact. And that’s the kind of leadership the world needs now more than ever.

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Dana Gentry is a sought-after growth expert who founded multiple real estate franchises. With two decades of experience in sales and leadership, significant investments in  mentorship and over a million podcast downloads, Dana has developed as an expert to empower leaders who feel stuck to experience the big life they deserve by utilizing her proven models to stop drifting and live intentionally. Dana and her family split their time between Charleston, South Carolina, and Lexington, Kentucky. Her new book is Restore: 90 Days of Intentional Living in Faith, Life, and Business.